Future-Me Needs To Remember Why Jesus Is Awesome

Hello again future-me! *grins happily at mental image of imaginary happy future-me* I have slept! And finished chocolate trifle! It was very good. A lot better than some trifles we have had. We really need to get over the 'I don't like trifle' thing. It's like the 'I don't like bananas' thing, we've believed it for so long, but now that we've actually eaten a banana/trifle for the first time in over ten years, we've discovered we do like them and this is throwing us into a state of existential crisis (be warned, future-me, I tend to get an existential crisis at least once per day. This is something you will discover as you recover from the terrible accident which has given you temporary amnesia). Anyways, this was not meant to be a post about trifle, or bananas. Even though triple chocolate trifle is really, really good.

It's about something more important. Jesus. Now, future-me, listen up, this is really, very important. You are a Christian. If you have forgotten this, you need to remember, because it makes your life so much more awesome. Other people might not believe this, and lacking my memories of the awesomeness being a Christian has given my life, you may not understand. So this is for you, so you can understand, and help others to understand just why being a Christian is an integral and awesome part to your life.

Now, we could kick off with the bit about how Jesus is the King of Kings, and the Bible tells us that we are heirs with him or something, which makes me a princess and insta-fulfils all my childhood dreams about being a disney princess, but that's not really what's pressing on my mind at the moment, so here goes.

Cake. We like cake. In fact, we love cake. Cake is glorious, Cake is filled with all the things that make life worth living. Cake is even better than trifle. Though not as good as Errol Flynn. Now, I don't want to turn this blog into a 'YAY BIBLE STUFF' cos I can do that other places, and this is meant to be a 'YAY RANDOM STUFF' place, but meh, you need to get this, future-me. Book called Mark, in the Bible. Look it up. Can't remember where, about chapter 7, possibly 8 (chapters are the bits with the big numbers next to them) There's a bit earlier as well. I would look these up, but you're a big girl and I don't want to tidy my entire room to find where I last dropped my Bible. It's probably in my bed, under my anime plushies. There's this story, where Jesus gets this huge crowd, and they're all listening to him, and are so interested, they forget to eat. Happens to the best of us (ie me) all the time, but Jesus, being the nice person he is, feels sorry for them. He proceeds to do the best thing ever (except, of course, That Thing With the Cross, and the walking on water, because man, they were both EPIC, though the first one more of a sad-but-epic, of course...back to the cake thing!)

So yeah! He asks what anyone has in the way of food, and out of the whole crowd, there's not much. They weren't expecting to find him interesting enough to listen to through lunch time and dinner time. First crowd - 5000 men, not including women and children, one little boy with five loaves of bread and two little fish. Second crowd - 4000, again I'm guessing not including women and children, what with this being a long time ago, and the women's rights thing not having kicked off, so no-one would think to count the women. The kids were probably running around too much to be counted properly. The 4000 also only managed to produce a little bit of bread and fish (yeah, I forget the amount. You want to know, future-me? Why are you not looking this up? You're going to take what I say for granted? Bah.)

Here's the awesome bit. Jesus turns that tiny bit of bread and fish into enough, not just for everyone who's there to have a good meal, but enough for them to be able to take home goodie bags! (Bible doesn't say what happened to the 12 baskets, and 7 baskets, but I like to think it was goodie bags. Like the best, most magical party ever. What? I don't like the rubbish plastic toys from most parties, but LOVE fish sandwiches. Don't judge me)

Ok, future-me, as it took a friend pointing this out to me to get this, I won't be surprised if you're not that impressed, even with the unlimited fish sandwiches thing. Here you go.  

This means that Jesus can create unlimited cake. Whenever He wants to.

Now, you may be wondering 'but why would He want to?' Well, why would He create cake in the first place unless He understood its awesome potential? The fish and bread thing was because He is a responsible adult, and wanted to give people a proper dinner. Cake doesn't count to a responsible adult. Also, because they didn't really have cake then, and all the little boy had was fish and bread, but still, future thinking! He's already shown he has no aversion to making sure parties go well! (Look up the bit about the wedding at Canaan when he created wine, the best wine ever, out of water, so the party would keep going.) He's not just about the miracles of need, but also the partying. And this makes him awesome.

Future-me, when people ask why you are a Christian, and why you think it is an awesome and integral part of your life, when it just means rules and 'can't do this, or that' and guilt and recrimination, first ask if they've read the Bible, because I don't see any of that in the bits about how to be a Christian. Then, if they still look confused, stare them directly in the eye and ask seriously. "Who else in the multi-verse would be able to, and probably willing to create unlimited cake, and maybe even some complimentary dessert wine?" BAM! You have won the argument.

In other news, the stuff I ordered with my Christmas Amazon Gift Voucher has started to arrive. This means I have Final Fantasy III and Final Fantasy: Chocobo Tales. Ordering Nintendo DS games shortly before a big TEST OF DOOM was probably not one of my brighter ideas. The Final Fantasy thing is probably something for another post though. This one's too long already...

Oh yeah, and just because I mentioned earlier how cake is less awesome than Errol Flynn, Jesus MADE Errol Flynn, just like he made cake. So Jesus is more awesome even that Errol Flynn. And the daily 'Thank you for cake' prayer is now the daily 'Thank you for cake and Errol Flynn' prayer. Because those two things, and Jesus, make my life worth living.

I now feel very embarrassed for making a 'religiousy' post, which felt when I started a lot more like it would be an 'I like cake' post. So I will end. Here.