First Ever Blog!

So, new account, new blog (can it really be called 'new' if I've never had one? hmmm) Not even really sure why I created this. I've been reading blogs all day which are amazingly well known, and have loads of subscribers. But they're funny. I only seem to be funny to myself. So maybe I'm writing this to entertain future-me... Or maybe I'm doing it because in 15 hours I have an essay due, three thousand words long, which I haven't started. Ah, glorious, glorious procrastination. Maybe I'm doing this to help future-me procrastinate by reading over old blogs and being appalled at how fail-y I am/was. I like future-me. I don't think future-me likes me. I don't really like past-me though, so it all evens out. I tend to feel like past-me is that slightly irritating friend/relative at reunions. You have to acknowledge them. But you wish they'd hang out with someone else. Anyone else. Or you might just punch them in the face.

I don't think present-me, past-me and future-me should ever, ever meet. Present me would hang around future-me like a lovesick puppy, trying to kick off the annoying clinging past-me until we both annoyed future-me enough for her to start trying to stab present-me and past-me in the face. And that can't end well. Although, being presented with two past-me's I would probably do the same, so fair play to her. (yes, there is not supposed to be an apostrophe there, future-me. But 'mes' looks weird. Deal with it.)

So why else did I start this? Oh yes. You know those days when it's like your own personal backing track of AWESOME is playing? And everywhere you go you feel epic? I had one of those days today. And I wasn't even wearing my Dark Overlord Boots. Future-me, you need to know this, if you've had a terrible accident and forgotten most of your past, yet somehow stumbled upon this blog. Probably because I never close any interesting looking tab, and leave most of my things signed in (we have a culture of TRUST in this studenty house. I think they fear my terrible, terrible retribution if a frape/blape(?) war were to begin. Oh yes. It would be terrible) Where was I? Oh yes. Future-me, you have a Dark Overlord Coat. It is black, looks like an army trenchcoat and has brass buttons. It swishes gloriously. You have Dark Overlord Boots. They are black, kneelength and zip up the side. The laces are pretty but mainly useless. You do not yet have the Dark Overlord Throne Room, Dark Overlord Minions, or Dark Overlord Diadem, but you will, oh yes. You will.

So yes, glorious day, I got to push open double doors and stalk through them. The Dark Overlord Coat did not catch on the doors, but flared/swished gloriously. The soundtrack of AWESOME was playing. Nothing could go wrong. Then, having got home and sat on the sofa being all like 'woo! I'm awesome!', I remembered I had no minions. Or throne room. Or diadem. The crazed manical laughter catches in my throat. Noooooo!

Too late. The moment is gone. So I status it on Facebook. That's not enough. My mind turns to blogs and how I had never been able to think of something interesting to start one off. I realise I don't care if noone but me reads it. I find me funny, and I will become Dark Overlord one day! Even if only on the internet. Cos that's just as cool as in real life. BAMF! New blog! With a slightly less emo/gothgirl username than most of the ones I created when I was midteens. But that particular 'WHY I HATE TWILIGHT FOR STEALING MY COOL(except not) USERNAME AND MAKING ME SOUND LIKE A PATHETIC SPARKLY FAKE VAMPIRE FANGIRL' rant can be saved for another time. When I'm not hyper. Or possibly mildly drunk. I'm still not convinced this juice hasn't started to ferment. It would explain so much right now.

So yes. This blog is born out of attempting to procrastinate, helping future-me procrastinate, and to entertain future-me (HI! YOU'RE AWESOME! CAN WE BE FRIENDS???) the belief that one day I will become a Dark Overlord on the internet, and to express my soul-deep anguish at not yet being a Dark Overlord. Such glorious beginnings! What could posibly go wrong! >.<